I am overdue for a blog session. I write, copy/paste, post for Facebook everyday, if not 3-4 times daily if I'm really feelin' it, but tonight as I scrolled the Facebook HOMEPLATE, looking at all the names of people who are my "Friends," I came to feeling so much about those people and the faces behind the names that I realized I needed to "share" here as well.
It's 2013 and I am still asking some of the same exact questions I asked myself way back in my early 20's. Only I am far away in years from my early twenties and yet at 44, those same questions are here.
I have life experiences I never thought I would have, ones I am deeply grateful for and also ones I deeply regret. I won't go into detail because I have written a very rough draft novel about much of those regrets, addressed them through fiction, and eventually my wish is that you all will buy a copy and read:) But that will be a long while, so here I go for now.
I have lived and traveled all over the states. I have taken 3 cross country road trips. I've cried upon seeing the beauty of Colorado. I have teared at witnessing the begging of truly hungry children on the borders of Mexico, and I have gotten sunburned in all places, Cayman Islands, Virgin Islands, Hawaii (twice) and why I had stage 2 skin cancer in 2009. I have been to Europe (Prague five times and even lived there for over 5 months) Croatia, England, France, Spain, the Netherlands 3 times, and also, INDIA, all alone, the most amazing trip to date, where I met some of the most amazing connections I have come to know, even though we only had a month together, and I haven't seen them since, it was DIVINE!
I lived in Kentucky, the first 18 years of my life, then onto California for the next 18, with a year thrown in there spent in Kentucky, living in one of the nicest luxury condominiums offered in Louisville. I drove a convertible from 1991-2012, owned many diamonds, which I have since sold, I owned all the pricey brand labeled purses, expensive perfumes, and still I didn't know inner happiness. I lived in Florida on the water, got to see the ocean every day, and every day without fail the dolphin and manatee would visit my oceanic backyard, and their babies too, before moving to, or rather escaping, to Kalamazoo, Michigan. (That's another story).
I am a lucky woman. I am no longer monetarily rich, and though I hold a BA with honors in Dance where I met and still know (Thank You, Facebook) some of the most amazing women in the YONI~VERSE :) I hold an MFA in Creative Writing (which I hope to actually do more with in 2013 even though I have been blessed in having over 24 articles published on yoga in nationally recognized magazines, only two were paying gigs. Tis the life of the artist) I even acquired two, not one, but two A.A.'s before that BA only after becoming a licensed cosmetologist in California while just a mere 21 years old (one of the funnest things I've ever done, working on doll heads, customers, and one another 5 days a week, was a blast!) And still after all these achievements, living in paradisal places, I live with regret? How is that possible? I'm a yoga teacher, I practice non-attachment, so how can a yogini have regret running so deeply in her body, mind, and spirit?
I've been practicing yoga since 1999, and have been teaching since 2007, and am an experienced registered yoga teacher through Yoga Alliance, and have been blessed in teaching yoga in Prague for four summers in a row. I love the yoga community I have found in Michigan. I am finally starting a 500 HR Yoga training in 2013, and though I am healthy, happy, and still living the good life, I admit that I carry a deep sense of regret. Do you?
Regret is a human condition for those that have not followed their divine paths because they surrendered instead to the influence of others, rather than living in ones own personal truth. This is what happens when one lives in fear, rather than dancing on the graves of fear.
In revealing ones own darkness to others we help to cultivate healing not only for ourselves, but also for others. Obviously, I have so much to be grateful for, I have all I need, and as Gandhiji said, "We have enough for all our needs, but not enough for all our greed." But, as the new year unfolds I am still releasing the deep pains of the past that led me to the very place I am this evening. Writing about regret for anyone interested to see.
For the most part I carry a profound sense of happiness, gratitude, cultivate peace and non-attachment, and am blessed with great health, but a sure sign of living with regret is when one looks back on their life and says to oneself, "If I only would've followed my heart, If I only would've listened to my gut, If I only would've loved me more than others, If I only would've put myself first, I could've, should've would've..." How does one reconcile with such thoughts and questions? Face them. Breathe through them. Accept, move on compassionately, learn from that past, and stay as present as possible at any given moment, and when those moments of regret come raging in, you look at it in the face and begin counting those blessings.
Thanks for reading. For listening to the tellings of my heart, a yogini who has come to be an expert, a practitioner and advisor on living with regret through the practice of yoga.
With Infinite Blessings of Peace to you and yours,
Dancingly,
Krista
It's 2013 and I am still asking some of the same exact questions I asked myself way back in my early 20's. Only I am far away in years from my early twenties and yet at 44, those same questions are here.
I have life experiences I never thought I would have, ones I am deeply grateful for and also ones I deeply regret. I won't go into detail because I have written a very rough draft novel about much of those regrets, addressed them through fiction, and eventually my wish is that you all will buy a copy and read:) But that will be a long while, so here I go for now.
I have lived and traveled all over the states. I have taken 3 cross country road trips. I've cried upon seeing the beauty of Colorado. I have teared at witnessing the begging of truly hungry children on the borders of Mexico, and I have gotten sunburned in all places, Cayman Islands, Virgin Islands, Hawaii (twice) and why I had stage 2 skin cancer in 2009. I have been to Europe (Prague five times and even lived there for over 5 months) Croatia, England, France, Spain, the Netherlands 3 times, and also, INDIA, all alone, the most amazing trip to date, where I met some of the most amazing connections I have come to know, even though we only had a month together, and I haven't seen them since, it was DIVINE!
I lived in Kentucky, the first 18 years of my life, then onto California for the next 18, with a year thrown in there spent in Kentucky, living in one of the nicest luxury condominiums offered in Louisville. I drove a convertible from 1991-2012, owned many diamonds, which I have since sold, I owned all the pricey brand labeled purses, expensive perfumes, and still I didn't know inner happiness. I lived in Florida on the water, got to see the ocean every day, and every day without fail the dolphin and manatee would visit my oceanic backyard, and their babies too, before moving to, or rather escaping, to Kalamazoo, Michigan. (That's another story).
I am a lucky woman. I am no longer monetarily rich, and though I hold a BA with honors in Dance where I met and still know (Thank You, Facebook) some of the most amazing women in the YONI~VERSE :) I hold an MFA in Creative Writing (which I hope to actually do more with in 2013 even though I have been blessed in having over 24 articles published on yoga in nationally recognized magazines, only two were paying gigs. Tis the life of the artist) I even acquired two, not one, but two A.A.'s before that BA only after becoming a licensed cosmetologist in California while just a mere 21 years old (one of the funnest things I've ever done, working on doll heads, customers, and one another 5 days a week, was a blast!) And still after all these achievements, living in paradisal places, I live with regret? How is that possible? I'm a yoga teacher, I practice non-attachment, so how can a yogini have regret running so deeply in her body, mind, and spirit?
I've been practicing yoga since 1999, and have been teaching since 2007, and am an experienced registered yoga teacher through Yoga Alliance, and have been blessed in teaching yoga in Prague for four summers in a row. I love the yoga community I have found in Michigan. I am finally starting a 500 HR Yoga training in 2013, and though I am healthy, happy, and still living the good life, I admit that I carry a deep sense of regret. Do you?
Regret is a human condition for those that have not followed their divine paths because they surrendered instead to the influence of others, rather than living in ones own personal truth. This is what happens when one lives in fear, rather than dancing on the graves of fear.
In revealing ones own darkness to others we help to cultivate healing not only for ourselves, but also for others. Obviously, I have so much to be grateful for, I have all I need, and as Gandhiji said, "We have enough for all our needs, but not enough for all our greed." But, as the new year unfolds I am still releasing the deep pains of the past that led me to the very place I am this evening. Writing about regret for anyone interested to see.
For the most part I carry a profound sense of happiness, gratitude, cultivate peace and non-attachment, and am blessed with great health, but a sure sign of living with regret is when one looks back on their life and says to oneself, "If I only would've followed my heart, If I only would've listened to my gut, If I only would've loved me more than others, If I only would've put myself first, I could've, should've would've..." How does one reconcile with such thoughts and questions? Face them. Breathe through them. Accept, move on compassionately, learn from that past, and stay as present as possible at any given moment, and when those moments of regret come raging in, you look at it in the face and begin counting those blessings.
Thanks for reading. For listening to the tellings of my heart, a yogini who has come to be an expert, a practitioner and advisor on living with regret through the practice of yoga.
With Infinite Blessings of Peace to you and yours,
Dancingly,
Krista
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