Opening, Expansion, Closing

Opening, Expansion, Closing

Monday, April 8, 2013

Do your best, surrender to the rest

There is always so much time between each blog. So much that has happened and somehow I do come back, and hope I always will in some way or fashion. Speaking of fashion, I read a quote today about a man who goes in to get his suit tailored. He stood looking at it in the mirror and he notices the vest was too short, on one side, then the tailor said, "Just pull it down with the left hand and hold it there and it will be even." So the man pulls it down, notices how then it was even. Then he saw that the sleeve on one side grew uneven, the tailor told the man, "Just hold it down with your other hand and it'll be perfect." But then as he held the vest with one hand, and the sleeve with the other, he noticed that the lapel had curled up, the tailor then told him, "Just hold it down with your chin, see, now it's a perfect fit." The man agreed then walked out of the shop in his newly tailored suit. He walked through the park, past a couple of older men playing chess. "Wow, look, George, one man said, look at how crippled that man is, that's a shame, poor man." The second man replied, "Yes, it's a shame, he's terribly  crippled, but what a nice suit, wonder where he got it."

This quote made me think about my own yoga practice and how for many years I have trusted in others rather than more in myself. As if I, like this old man completely trusting his tailor, have surrendered my own needs, comforts, to what others may think because I somehow thought they knew more than me, because they were in positions of authority, but truly, the truest authority lies within us all.

We can all grow crippled by trying to fit ourselves, like magically human pretzels, into the shapes, ideals, forms, that others wish to fit us into, because we surrender our own authority over to them, and inevitably whenever that takes place, it leaves us feeling like that man in the story, a little crippled, or unbalanced.

It is through honoring our own feelings and needs, in our life, and practice, that will better serve us, and guide us, towards living at our greatest potential, which is what Yoga is all about in the first place. Growing more flexible in the body is merely a by-product of the asana practice.

Western culture so much dictates to us, like false Guru's, what we need, how we need to behave, what to wear, how and what to eat, how much we should sleep, there's a litany of "to do's and how to do's," and they are endless. Guru means in Sanskrit, Remover of Darkness, and sometimes we surrender wholeheartedly all our efforts into these external false Guru's while ignoring what our gut is telling us. Ignoring the most important Guru of all, our heart, our gut, our breath, our minds eye, our connections, the spiritual, physical, mental, emotional connections, we too often surrender over to others and gage our happiness according to these external Gurus.

When truly we only need to do as Krishna speaks of in the Bhagavad Gita, in my words, "Do your best, surrender to the rest." We must all strive to do our individual best and our best truly is not meant to give full effort, all sweat, all energy every day because sometimes our best efforts are those days spent doing very little.

When we spend time in deep reflection, and develop a a deeper contemplative life, we grow to know our inner Guru with a much deeper knowing. Those days spent following the energy of the day, maybe moving slower than, "usual," maybe doing less than more, and that is truly honoring where we are, and acting from an energetically honest place, rather than pounding through when we might be energetically drained. Within all our workaholic- isms, we come to find ourselves inching farther away from inner peace. But the inner Guru is always there, speaking, asking, suggesting, guiding us, towards a deeper connection to bliss, to source, to inner peace that always is there for us to embrace at any given moment.

Today, I decided to post another blog because I want those couple, maybe only one or two, to be reminded that they, that you, are your own Guru, and maybe this will inspire you into not letting someone else place you into a uncomfortable fitting suit, making you appear crippled, when in reality, you're simply not embracing your own Guru, your own breath, your own energy level, your own LIFE!

Enjoy Yours,
With Infinite Peaceful Blessings,

Dancingly,

Krista



Monday, January 7, 2013

Ch.Ch.Ch.Ch. CHANGES....

I am overdue for a blog session. I write, copy/paste, post for Facebook everyday, if not 3-4 times daily if I'm really feelin' it, but tonight as I scrolled the Facebook HOMEPLATE, looking at all the names of people who are my "Friends," I came to feeling so much about those people and the faces behind the names that I realized I needed to "share" here as well.

It's 2013 and I am still asking some of the same exact questions I asked myself way back in my early 20's.  Only I am far away in years from my early twenties and yet at 44, those same questions are here.

I have life experiences I never thought I would have, ones I am deeply grateful for and also ones I deeply regret. I won't go into detail because I have written a very rough draft novel about much of those regrets, addressed them through fiction, and eventually my wish is that you all will buy a copy and read:) But that will be a long while, so here I go for now.

I have lived and traveled all over the states. I have taken 3 cross country road trips. I've cried upon seeing the beauty of Colorado. I have teared at witnessing the begging of truly hungry children on the borders of Mexico, and I have gotten sunburned in all places, Cayman Islands, Virgin Islands, Hawaii (twice) and why I had stage 2 skin cancer in 2009. I have been to Europe (Prague five times and even lived there for over 5 months) Croatia, England, France, Spain, the Netherlands 3 times, and also, INDIA, all alone, the most amazing trip to date, where I met some of the most amazing connections I have come to know, even though we only had a month together, and I haven't seen them since, it was DIVINE!

I lived in Kentucky, the first 18 years of my life, then onto California for the next 18, with a year thrown in there spent in Kentucky, living in one of the nicest luxury condominiums offered in Louisville. I drove a convertible from 1991-2012, owned many diamonds, which I have since sold, I owned all the pricey brand labeled purses, expensive perfumes, and still I didn't know inner happiness. I lived in Florida on the water, got to see the ocean every day, and every day without fail the dolphin and manatee would visit my oceanic backyard, and their babies too, before moving to, or rather escaping, to Kalamazoo, Michigan. (That's another story).

I am a lucky woman. I am no longer monetarily rich, and though I hold a BA with honors in Dance where I met and still know (Thank You, Facebook) some of the most amazing women in the YONI~VERSE :) I hold an MFA in Creative Writing (which I hope to actually do more with in 2013 even though I have been blessed in having over 24 articles published on yoga in nationally recognized magazines, only two were paying gigs. Tis the life of the artist) I even acquired two, not one, but two A.A.'s before that BA only after becoming a licensed cosmetologist in California while just a mere 21 years old (one of the funnest things I've ever done, working on doll heads, customers, and one another 5 days a week, was a blast!) And still after all these achievements, living in paradisal places, I live with regret? How is that possible? I'm a yoga teacher, I practice non-attachment, so how can a yogini have regret running so deeply in her body, mind, and spirit?

I've been practicing yoga since 1999, and have been teaching since 2007, and am an experienced registered yoga teacher through Yoga Alliance, and have been blessed in teaching yoga in Prague for four summers in a row. I love the yoga community I have found in Michigan. I am finally starting a 500 HR Yoga training in 2013, and though I am healthy, happy, and still living the good life, I admit that I carry a deep sense of regret. Do you?

Regret is a human condition for those that have not followed their divine paths because they surrendered instead to the influence of others, rather than living in ones own personal truth. This is what happens when one lives in fear, rather than dancing on the graves of fear.

In revealing ones own darkness to others we help to cultivate healing not only for ourselves, but also for others. Obviously, I have so much to be grateful for, I have all I need, and as Gandhiji said, "We have enough for all our needs, but not enough for all our greed." But, as the new year unfolds I am still releasing the deep pains of the past that led me to the very place I am this evening. Writing about regret for anyone interested to see.

For the most part I carry a profound sense of happiness, gratitude, cultivate peace and non-attachment, and am blessed with great health, but a sure sign of living with regret is when one looks back on their life and says to oneself, "If I only would've followed my heart, If I only would've listened to my gut, If I only would've loved me more than others, If I only would've put myself first, I could've, should've would've..." How does one reconcile with such thoughts and questions? Face them. Breathe through them. Accept, move on compassionately, learn from that past, and stay as present as possible at any given moment, and when those moments of regret come raging in, you look at it in the face and begin counting those blessings.

Thanks for reading. For listening to the tellings of my heart, a yogini who has come to be an expert, a practitioner and advisor on living with regret through the practice of yoga.

With Infinite Blessings of Peace to you and yours,

Dancingly,
Krista


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Opening, Expansion, & Closing, Opening, Expansion...

Dear Kind Readers,

It's been awhile since I've used blogging as a medium to communicate, and now, with the pending move for me, I feel it's time to bring back the blog, just in case there are some Yoga students, friends, family, (and future connections yet to be made) that want to hear from me, my voice, to stay connected, and possibly (if I get the hang of things) I'll post pictures of my journeys from time to time. But, I'll start small, and mighty, just like Sunrise Yoga. Speaking of Sunrise Yoga. I dearly miss her, the space, and the community, along with all the good soulful work we collectively manifested through her Sunrise Yoga. I oƒten refer to Sunrise Yoga in the feminine and it's not only because of my love and practice of Goddess Awareness, but also because, like a woman, she gave birth to many great things.

Through Sunrise, we fed four people for an entire year relative to the Kalamazoo Loaves and Fishes program. We raised $2000 for Japan to help bring aide for Tsunami relief. We raised $250 for Cares, the Kalamazoo organization that cultivates awareness and support for HIV and Aids community in Michigan. We collected bags upon bags of warm outer wear and clothing for the under-served communities, families, and homeless of Kalamazoo which was donated to Kalamazoo Gospel Mission along with last year collecting clothes for Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. YWCA of Kalamazoo benefited by Sunrise Yoga's collections for their "needs list" that included diapers, baby formula, facial tissue, hair products, toys, and clothes. And lastly, but certainly not least, we collected Christmas presents for under-served families in Kalamazoo that were donated to Kalamazoo Gospel Mission's Christmas Project.

I find myself wondering, with Sunrise Yoga now closed, how will the community be affected by the closing? Who will now raise donations for great causes both locally and globally? Who will host drives for collecting needed things for Kalamazoo's communities under-served population? Who will also offer Yoga at affordable prices, not just on the weekends, but everyday? Who will create classes for our diverse communites? Gay Men's Yoga was a success and stood at a positive position for growth, expecially with the pending remodeling of Sunrise Yoga, but all offerings came to a sad end on Dec. 22, 2011.

Family matters. The needed remodel came to an end because of the need to help my family. So, I will continue shedding as much light, being light, and living in light, as best as I am able. Through writing, through the teaching of Yoga in Prague, Czech Republic, and who knows what will happen when I eventually return to live in Kalamazoo, after an extended stay in Prague, but I will carry Kalamazoo with me, all that we collectively manifested together at Sunrise Yoga, and I vow to myself, as much as to those who continue to support me, to do good work in the world.

With every opening there is an expansion and then a closing, the cycle of life fashions itself in that continuum like a flower opening, expanding and then ultimately dying. Pema Chodron is noted saying that "everything comes together then falls apart,"and that this is the cycle of life, but we are more settled within ourselves when things come together and are less at peace with the falling apart, but the falling apart is often where we learn our greatest lessons and gain our strongest blessings and I have been experiencing that since the closing of Sunrise Yoga.

There has been an outpouring of support, love, and gratitude. I have grown closer to my family and friends. I have been faced with seeing my strengths and also my weaknesses. I also have gained a greater spiritual connection, that place that lies in the belly of our being, and am infinitely grateful for that experience.

I hope this blog finds you well. I hope you are happy. I hope you are safe. I hope you love, are loved, and continue to live in peace, with good health, happiness, and when those times of suffering surface, as they will, it's a human condition, when things fall apart, that you remember you are never fully, or truly alone, spirit is with you, walking with you, in you, of you, and that the spirit comes in the form of breath. May you continue to live in the light, be the light, shine your light, dance the light, sing the light, laugh the light, speak the light, write the light, travel the light.

Mantra for this blog: I am light. Light lives in me and I have the choice to shine my light. I choose light. I choose life.

With Love, Infinite Blessings, & Dancingly Yours,
Krista